The Classical

Recently, I’ve been getting back into philosophy. Rather than going heavily into the real thing I’ve been dipping my toe in the water by reading Nigel Warburton’s Little History of Philosophy. I enjoyed the chapters on Plato and Aristotle. Locke and Hume are also rather interesting. I’m quite taken by Kant’s idea that there is the noumenal world (the real world) which we can’t access and the phenomenal world, which is what we access through experience. However, today I’ve been reading the chapters on Hegel, Kierkegaard and Schopenhauer and they, especially Hegel, made me feel empty. Hegel is just idealist nonsense. Not quite as bad as Spinoza but I hate grand metaphysics based on spurious assumptions. Hegel seems to think that the world is careering towards an end point where we are getting freer and freer in terms of this thing that he calls Geist. It’s total nonsense. I can see now why the early analytic philosophers were so turned off by Hegel and his followers in Britain such as Green and Bradley. This sort of metaphysics is so unscientific and frankly baloney. The next chapter is on Marx, who was influenced by Hegel in terms of historical determinism. I’m really turned off by Marx, critical theory and post-modernism in general. I watched a video about Foucault and though he has some interesting ideas, I find the rejection of modernism to be unfruitful. There is such a thing as goodness in the classical, Aristotelian sense and we should all aspire to it. Truth is not relative. The only post-modern philsopher I really like is Wittgenstein but it’s debatable whether he is really post-modernist in his later period because he comes from the analytic side. Sure his later work is unsystematic and not particularly clear but he doesn’t commit to the idea of relative truth or anything as bonkers as Foucault. I think from now on, I’m going to read mostly analytic philosophy, a bit of Ancient philosophy, Wittgenstein and maybe Kant. Kant seems to still make quite a lot of sense and is perhaps the starting point for the modern era. I’m going to eschew Hegel and the like. The only post-Marxist thinker I find engaging is Gramsci. His whole idea of hegemony being rooted in culture is persuasive and Gramscian political theory is a side-hustle of mine to the analytic approach. 

Scrubbers!

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Is Scrubbers! a good name for a band? I’ve been writing some punkier songs recently and I think that would be a great name. I also paid for a Tinder and Hinge subscription for a week. Hinge didn’t get me anywhere but I met two girls off Tinder. When I say ‘met’ I mean we are chatting online. I’m going to give it up though after this week. It’s a time drain and it’s also peculiarly soul destroying. I’m starting to go out more for meetups and with new friends. So I’m meeting people anyway. The dating apps are a bit like Spotify. Impersonal and lonely and expensive. No thanks. It’s amazing that since my last clinic visit three years ago I’ve survived without really having any friends. It was difficult for me to go out on my own, particularly at night and I struggled to go into Zurich with all the noise. Now, it’s getting slowly better and I even went out till 11.30 the other night, to a place I’m familiar with but still. Sometimes, my Dad accompanies me on the train still, which is really nice of him. I get tired and confused a bit still. I don’t think most people really get it - the whole schizoaffective bipolar thing. It simply crushes you. It’s like you fit a whole life into 3 months of intense manic energy and then you pay for it with a few years of depression and not really being able to do anything. But I’m proud now that I have a part-time job, some friends, some recordings, some writing. As close to a normal life as you can get. A friend of mine said he was unsure for a while which Tim Chase he was talking to but now he’s sure it’s The Normal Tim Chase. That will be the nae of an album at some point but I’ve got to do Hang Out and Immediate Consumer Love first. My retrospective will be called Just Hanging Out - a line from Pink Sunglasses. I want it to be a small, folky, mostly acoustic record with a bit of drums and stuff. It’s really hard to make that kind of record. Flora Falls are a good example of an act who have managed to do the quiet, folky thing well with good production. It’s not easy at all. It’s much easier to make a bombastic record. 

II

Talking of Flora Falls, here are my top ten by non-famous artists. It’s mostly friends of mine, with the odd random band I saw thrown in. ‘Fuck It’ by Rene SG, ‘The LVC is Shit’ by the Sex Pests, ‘Headed Home’ by Phoenix Rivers, ‘Everyday Love’ by Flora Falls, ‘Sweet Redemption’ by Benjamin James Caldwell, ‘All the Apples in the Basket’ by David Newberry, ‘Fuck Your Cool’ by the Folk Roadshow, ’67 Cadillac’ by Port of Call, ‘Jonathan’ by Long Conversations. That’s nine. There must be something else. Hallo Venray - Two Feet. Classic.  

Band in a room

 I

Everyone’s a person

Everybody counts as one

Doesn’t seem like that

When you’re at the office or trying to book a gig

But it’s good to remember this kind of thing. Keep it in the back of your mind. Or the front. Whatever gets you through. 

II

I’m coming up now so I’m just gonna dance. Is that my best song? It’s called ‘Up’ off of Everything’s Already Happened. I mean the production is awful but the song is rad. I think it sounds like the Velvets. The second best band after the Silver Jews. I spoke to somebody about the Velvets and he was going on about all the scenester stuff like how they looked and what they did. That’s peripheral - what matters is the music and the production. The first album’s production is bizarre but it works especially on I’m Waiting for the Man which is the best song on the first album. The second album also has bizarre production but this time totally overdriven. Sister Ray is good for like 10 seconds but I prefer the titular track, it’s more poppy. It’s probably my least favourite of the main four albums before Lou left. The third album is great. Lush production, toned-down vibe with lovely songs. Candy Says is a classic but the whole thing has a beautiful veneer. And then there’s Loaded which is a 10. Poppy, catchy, rocky - it’s the blueprint for the kind of punk / indie rock that I dig. Has there ever been a better first side in rock history? I read an interview with Jimmy Page where he gushes over the Velvet Underground. It must have been quite an experience to listen to them and see them live at the time. The ultimate band in a room. You could say Led Zeppelin are the ultimate band in a stadium, but it’s cool that Jimmy Page saw the wonder of the Velvets. I also saw an interview with Keith Richards where he disses Led Zeppelin. Don’t know what to make of that. I love the Stones, especially Exile and Let It Bleed but they are a bit up themselves. What are my ten favourite albums? Let’s say one per band. Wowee Zowee by Pavement, Exile by the Stones, Loaded by the Velvet Underground, American Water by the Silver Jews, In the Aeroplane over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel, Either/Or by Elliot Smith, Liege and Lief by Fairport Convention, Led Zeppelin IV, Room on Fire by the Strokes,  Keep it Like a Secret by Built to Spill. Then there’s jazz, I like Bossa Nova and Miles Davis. I forgot Fugazi. Maybe take out the Strokes for that. 

Property is Theft

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I really feel for the people with major depression. I can only imagine the suffering people go through where they only get one end of the stick. The bad one. Bipolar on the other hand is really not that bad. Apart from psychosis. That’s pretty scary. It’s also the people you meet along the way. Most people are like ooh homeless people. Well I spent two months in a facility surrounded by mental homeless people. It’s pretty bizarre. What I noticed is that everybody goes through that phase inside where you want to hang onto your possessions and create some personal space. You’re living on top of some other people in the same room and you’re totally mental, but you hang onto this idea that you have stuff. There was one homeless guy who had a crap picture in a frame that he had got form somewhere and that was about it. He carried it around everywhere. I set up shop inside the phone cubicle at one stage and at another stage on a window ledge. That’s why I know Proudhon is talking bollocks when he says Property is Theft. It’s a great slogan and I want to believe it but only at the margins. In the end, humans need a little bit of their own stuff to get along. It’s not just a capitalist thing. 

II

I haven’t written an entry for a while and the reason is I’ve been very busy. Partly with work, which is going well but I have a lot of it, and partly with going out on the weekends, which makes me tired but is also fun. On Friday, I’m going to a live show for the first time in forever. It’s a Brian Jonestown sort of psych band with tambourine and lots of guitars and long hair and flowers etc. Very looking forward to it. I know the leader from the guitar shop here in Zurich. He’s a good egg. I met some people at a meetup, who are going to come along and watch the show with me. Looking forward to a fun time. I also got played on mainstream radio. It’s pretty cool but I’m unsure about the efficacy of radio promo. Seems like a bit of an extravagance. I’ve tried all sorts of promo and my favourite by far is just trying to get reviews through musosoup. Then it’s about trying to get gigs and stuff with the reviews under your belt. I don’t know, it’s obviously cool for some people to have millions of streams or whatever but I’m a bit nonplussed by that. I know nobody reads blogs anymore but it’s nice to hear what musos have to say about my work. It’s gratifying. 

Kicking and screaming

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I got a really nice message from a friend of mine commenting favourably on Leftover Fries, my latest release. It made me think, I’d prefer one note of encouragement from somebody I like and respect to 10,000 streams on evil Spotify. That’s why I’m not on it anymore, it’s so impersonal. The whole internet is impersonal and lonely. I crave the high you get from playing a small gig. I found a site called sofaconcerts which connects you with living room concert venues. I’ve applied to ten places and hopefully I get lucky there. Otherwise, my plan is to just go out and meet people and see if that leads to a show. I’m done with promo etc. on the internet. Of course, I need the internet to publish my music and writing. But I think Bandcamp and Blogger are about as cool as it gets on the internet. At least they don’t cost anything for me. I’m recording in a few weeks with Frank the punk. He is a great drummer and recordist and I’m really looking forward to seeing what we do with my song Estella. I recorded it very badly for my release Everything’s Already Happened. I played the drums if you can call banging the tom as the bass drum and banging the other drums and cymbals separately and then mixing it all together playing the drums. I’m pretty happy considering I did it all for free with a shitty USB microphone. But now I’m in the money, thanks to my part-time job and I’ve got just enough to record every three months or so. I plan to do Estella, Yeah, Hang Out and Cactus Paradise as an EP. I don’t know what to call it. I’ve already used Everything’s Already Happened and Cactus Paradise as names of previous works. Maybe I’ll just call it Hang Out and be done with it. 

II

I watched a killer movie on the plane called Inheritance. It’s filmed in a claustrophobic style that makes you think you’re really there with her and has a great performance from the main character plus Rhys Ifans, who is always good. He plays a really bad guy and I love it. It goes straight into my top ten movies. My top ten movies are: The Big Lebowski, The Silver Linings Playbook, Rushmore, Pi, um this is much harder than I thought. I thought I’d just be able to reel them off but I’m not really a film buff. I just don’t care about stories. Narrative is so boring. It’s all about style. The Silver Linings Playbook is the only film in my top four that relies on narrative. It’s a pretty schmalzy Hollywood rom com but I love it because it has Jennifer Lawrence and the guy has bipolar. It hit me at a particular time in my life and I love the scene when he throws Hemingway out of the window in a manic rage. I love Hemingway though, he could write. He didn’t rely on narrative. Of course Farewell to Arms has a sort of story but it’s not the main thing. The same with Bulgakov. It’s the ideas and the style. Style over substance. No filter. Life is not some narrative arc with goodies and baddies. It’s just a series of unconnected events and unconnected ideas all rolled into one. That’s why I dig my own writing. It just comes out or it doesn’t. I don’t push it. That’s the key to creativity for me. You’ve got to do some stuff and forget about writing and then bam it just comes out. In a whirl, in a dervish. Kicking and screaming. 

Coca-Cola is the best drink

 I

I’ve been trying out dating apps - the free versions of course. The main thing I noticed is that nobody smokes anymore, everyone wants to stay healthy, everyone wants to travel, people like animals. I haven’t seen a single girl who is interested in anything remotely interesting. Of course that’s not a prerequisite for a date, but it would be refreshing to see a profile that said hey I like chess and Pavement and smoking and I don’t really give a shit about my health or going to the gym. I get it: my interests are a little acute. I don’t really care what somebody likes anyway. What matters re: high fidelity is what they’re like i.e. can you hang out with them? Obviously you need sexual attraction also, which might be problematic for me. I have a pretty high opinion of myself but on paper I’m not great. Not great job, lives with parents, has no money, overweight, smoker. Maybe I need to set my standards lower. Also what’s with Hinge? My friends are on Hinge but it seems a bit pretentious to me. I prefer Coca Cola to fine wines. In fact my tastes in general are pretty bargain basement standardised American. Tinder is by far the easiest one to use and seems to have a pretty regular cross-section of society. Anyway, I’m going to keep trying on Tinder and Hinge and Bumble. I’m not really looking for love, just people to hang out with. Meetup fulfils that purpose quite well and maybe I’ll start playing pickleball here in Zurich, but I loathe activities. Activities are so bourgeois. Since when was getting coffee an interest btw? Doesn’t everyone get coffee? I seem to be having the most early success on Bumble. And by success I mean chats and likes. It’s early days. 

II

Everything in America goes at a million miles an hour. It’s so manic and frankly anti-intellectual. I can see why people like Bukowski are outsiders there. The majority of Americans aren’t thinking they’re just acting on their wits. Which makes it an exhilarating but also tiring place to be. Downtown Seattle isn’t even say New York or LA but I felt exhausted after spending even a smidgeon of time there. I met quite a lot of techies in Seattle. The key with those guys is that they’re not Engineers on the whole. I mean they do engineering work but the ones I’ve met are living in the moment - Artists. They talk bollocks at a million miles an hour and it’s like being with Dean Moriarty, except he likes Elon Musk instead of jazz. I once heard it said that America invented the 20th century’s purest art form - jazz. I like some jazz - mostly Miles Davis and bossa nova. But America is much more than just jazz. In music, you’ve got rock n roll, hip-hop, soul, blues. I mean pop music is basically American. Then you’ve got Coca Cola. The best drink. Pop art. The coffee in America is shit in general with some nuggets. 

Meritocracy

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I’ve been spending the last few days with smart, economically successful people. It’s been an eye-opener to the sheer amount of wealth there is in the United States if you go to certain areas. We played cricket on Saturday on a pristine and huge baseball pitch area in Bellevue, in the suburbs of Seattle. It was my Dad’s birthday party and a number of my sister and brother in law’s friends came to play. It was a really fun day and though I felt sore afterwards, it was totally worth it. I almost got my Dad out twice in an over but I’m glad I didn’t because he went on to hit a six, which was great to see. I didn’t bat that well in the match myself although the caveat was that I was up against a bowler who was really steaming in. As well as cricket, we went to visit a very affluent area called Kirkland and saw a very big house, surrounded by a lovely garden in a gated community. We also visited an office in a skyscraper in downtown and went to an Indian restaurant in Pioneer Square. On the way there and back, we walked past a few mentally ill homeless people. The juxtaposition between opulent wealth and success and the downtrodden life of the street people in Seattle prompted me to think about the nature of meritocracy. Is meritocracy defensible? It certainly seems to those who benefit that a meritocratic society like what the USA claims to be is fair but what about the people who don’t have the ability to compete? I think there’s an idea on the right in America that if you just work hard enough you can somehow make something of yourself, but this is a fallacy. There are a lot of people who are incapable of even holding down a job no matter how hard they try, not to mention their inability to think creatively. It’s true that meritocracy is better than say nepotism but the marginalized in society need to be looked after by the state and paid for by taxing those at the top of the hierarchy. When I really think about it, my personal views tend to social democracy if not outright socialism. I, for example, have a serious mental illness and an artisitic temperament. My mental illness means I can’t physically work full-time and my art has little economic value. As a resullt I am looked after by the state and my parents. If I didn’t have my parents, I would be very poor in Switzerland but still looked after enough by the state to live in a flat etc. In the USA, I would be most likely on the streets. Meritocracy is fine for those who benefit from the system but there needs to be a large safety net for the majority. 

II

The people I’ve been spending time with work overwhelmingly in tech. It’s given me the opportunity to learn more about AI. It seems as though my current job, doing incoming mail will be a casualty of the AI revolution. Robotics is also developing at such an alarming rate that the service economy, which employs the working class is also at threat. One person I met thinks that service jobs will be protected by the government so that even if AI is capable of doing these jobs, the government will regulate so as to make sure humans have enough work. Somebody else pointed out that the capitalist system needs consumers who can pay for goods and services so if AI stops the demand side from functioning, the whole system will collapse. My personal view is that if the AI works, the people in control will use it to their own ends. Perhaps, we will all be given soma and live in a leisure society. I think that’s unlikely. They need us to have some money and limited choice, like now so that we don’t rebel.