Kicking and screaming

 I

I got a really nice message from a friend of mine commenting favourably on Leftover Fries, my latest release. It made me think, I’d prefer one note of encouragement from somebody I like and respect to 10,000 streams on evil Spotify. That’s why I’m not on it anymore, it’s so impersonal. The whole internet is impersonal and lonely. I crave the high you get from playing a small gig. I found a site called sofaconcerts which connects you with living room concert venues. I’ve applied to ten places and hopefully I get lucky there. Otherwise, my plan is to just go out and meet people and see if that leads to a show. I’m done with promo etc. on the internet. Of course, I need the internet to publish my music and writing. But I think Bandcamp and Blogger are about as cool as it gets on the internet. At least they don’t cost anything for me. I’m recording in a few weeks with Frank the punk. He is a great drummer and recordist and I’m really looking forward to seeing what we do with my song Estella. I recorded it very badly for my release Everything’s Already Happened. I played the drums if you can call banging the tom as the bass drum and banging the other drums and cymbals separately and then mixing it all together playing the drums. I’m pretty happy considering I did it all for free with a shitty USB microphone. But now I’m in the money, thanks to my part-time job and I’ve got just enough to record every three months or so. I plan to do Estella, Yeah, Hang Out and Cactus Paradise as an EP. I don’t know what to call it. I’ve already used Everything’s Already Happened and Cactus Paradise as names of previous works. Maybe I’ll just call it Hang Out and be done with it. 

II

I watched a killer movie on the plane called Inheritance. It’s filmed in a claustrophobic style that makes you think you’re really there with her and has a great performance from the main character plus Rhys Ifans, who is always good. He plays a really bad guy and I love it. It goes straight into my top ten movies. My top ten movies are: The Big Lebowski, The Silver Linings Playbook, Rushmore, Pi, um this is much harder than I thought. I thought I’d just be able to reel them off but I’m not really a film buff. I just don’t care about stories. Narrative is so boring. It’s all about style. The Silver Linings Playbook is the only film in my top four that relies on narrative. It’s a pretty schmalzy Hollywood rom com but I love it because it has Jennifer Lawrence and the guy has bipolar. It hit me at a particular time in my life and I love the scene when he throws Hemingway out of the window in a manic rage. I love Hemingway though, he could write. He didn’t rely on narrative. Of course Farewell to Arms has a sort of story but it’s not the main thing. The same with Bulgakov. It’s the ideas and the style. Style over substance. No filter. Life is not some narrative arc with goodies and baddies. It’s just a series of unconnected events and unconnected ideas all rolled into one. That’s why I dig my own writing. It just comes out or it doesn’t. I don’t push it. That’s the key to creativity for me. You’ve got to do some stuff and forget about writing and then bam it just comes out. In a whirl, in a dervish. Kicking and screaming.