I hope this cigarette lasts forever

 I

I live with my parents in Meilen, near Zurich. They ration my cigarettes. If they didn’t I’d probably smoke all the time. I wrote a lyric last night: I hope this cigarette lasts forever. Oscar Wilde said it was the most exquisite thing and it is. He knew his stuff. It’s interesting how many of the people who knew their stuff were gay men. Ludwig Wittgenstein, Oscar Wilde, Alan Turing… I liked the Turing film. There hasn’t unfortunately been a good film about WIttgenstein. Maybe name redacted should write one. He’s a good writer and the Dutch film board would surely dig a film about an LGBTQIA+ personnage. I’ve never really understood racism or homophobia. I mean if there have been so many great gays and blacks (Hendrix, Davis. Pele etc.) what’s the deal? Do people really look at Pele and go, well he was good at football but he’s still inferior to me in some other way. It doesn’t make sense. And yet, it seems to be something that the current USA government and a lot of its citizens think. It’s a crying shame. Everybody should be nice to each other.

II

Yesterday we went to a Guitar Center in Seattle. It’s the first time I went to a Guitar Center and it was awesome. My sister bought me a Martin. Not a 3000 dollar one but a good one nonetheless. It comes in a snazzy bag and has a built-in pickup. I played my new song on it to her and my parents. They liked it. She said it was cute. We also went for a walk into the Main Street of Queen Anne where we are staying. It took about 40 minutes in all and it was quite good. I was so tired afterwards though and went to bed at 9. Now it’s 5am and I’m writing. It’s a good time to write because nobody else is awake and the thoughts just sort of flow out after you’ve been asleep for a while. 

III

I hope this cigarette lasts forever

If it does, we will still be together

Looks like we are in for nasty weather

I hope this cigarette lasts forever

IV

We met a weirdo yesterday at Guitar Center. He was waiting in line behind us to buy a guitar and talked about how the sales taxes are quite high because we didn’t realise there was sales tax on the guitar above the listed price. He said something about the alcohol tax and that’s why he stopped drinking. He was friendly enough. Then we left the store and he came outside a few minutes later, while I was having a cigarette. He started shouting and swearing at the guys in the store saying they had refused to sell him a 3000 dollar guitar because he’s homeless and that he had a 5000 dollar computer and blah blah blah. He kept on saying no offence to us before a tirade to the store guys who weren’t listening. Just a regular day in America.